508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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