I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
