Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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