How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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