Swine flu is the new snow day.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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