Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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