I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
