I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize