Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
