ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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