I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
