Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
