just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
