Please, let me fuck your mom
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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