i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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