thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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