We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
