dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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