Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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