i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
