Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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