I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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