Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
