I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
