his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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