worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
