So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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