why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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