Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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