I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
