I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
