her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
