your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
