Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
