The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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