need another drink. this is the easiest way
well you can't waste a boner
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
