i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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