My hand turned me down
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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