do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
