your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize