small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
