you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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