Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
