He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just got carded by a ten year old.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
