doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
