I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
