Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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