I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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