i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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