aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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