Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
