i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
can u get pink eye on your cock?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
