If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
