I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
